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NumberOneGlambert

Coming Out

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So, none of my family knows that I am bisexual and that I have been for years. I met this one girl and we care very much for each other and want to be in a relationship. She is still trying to get over this one guy who is moving to Alaska. This girl says she loves me and I feel the same about her. In my past relationships with females, I would always pretend that they were just my best friend and they would go along with it. You see, this girl is different. Honesty is a huge thing for her and she insists that I tell my parents. I'm very worried about the outcome. Will things change? Will they question my future female best friends? Will they let me have or go to any sleepovers? All these questions are going around in my head. If I do tell my parents they probably wouldn't allow me being alone with her. My parents are very protective over me being in a relationship. I just want to be able to spend time with her alone and not having eyes on me 24/7. If I do get out of a relationship with this girl, what is the point of me telling my parents? Please help me!

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There will definitely be more questions anytime you have a new female friend (it does get quite annoying) and you should still be able to go to and have sleepovers with females (though it may take some time). However if you do not wish to come out no girl should be able to force you to tell your parents. If she really cares about you she'll let you stay in the closet with your parents and date you anyways. I wish you the best of luck.

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It's hard for me to say because I've never lived the situation, but I have a friend who is a lesbian and came out to her parents. They still let her spend the night with girls and not with guys. Even though it's extremely hard I think if this girl is different and someone you truly love then you should tell your parents. Things may change, and they may ask questions. But that's going to happen whether you date a guy or a girl. And your parents may not want you alone with her, I don't know. It just depends on the parents I guess. But maybe they'll warm up to the idea. (:

When my friend Sam came out, his parents weren't very accepting of it, but they warmed up A LOT to the idea, and started loving a lot of his boyfriends. They treat the situation just as he was to date a girl. Except he can't spend the night at guy's houses, just girl's houses.

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My parents found out I was bi. I got ridiculed, I got called evil, and my own sister treated me like I had some horrible disease. That was last week. My mom 'convinced' me I was just having weird hormonal issues. An identity crisis. So I played along and locked myself back in the closet. I'm never coming out for them.

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All I can say is stand strong! Be yourself and don't let others make you feel bad about being yourself! Honestly! You're going to have people, even those close to you not being very accepting, but you have those that will be! You have to find the people that love you for you!

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In the event that you are not aware of it, there is an organization called PFLAG, Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2

Perhaps they have a local chapter that could help you with your situation.

http://community.pflag.org/page.aspx?pid=803

I have never contacted them myself. I just thought that they sounded useful.

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Well, if you do decide to tell your parents, just remember to be strong. You have to want to tell them. You have to reach the point where you know coming out is what you want to do at this time in your life. Personally, my mom and I have an open enough relationship where she has actually playfully teased me about being bisexual. She has also told me a number of times that no matter what my sexual orientation, she will be there for me. Casually put, my mom is pretty darn "cool" about sexuality. Good luck, though and best wishes.

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