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JanusJanis

I'm Going Back Into The Closet

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Adam's closet, that is. I want his clothes in my size. I want his boots and shoes in my size. (Except the sandals LOL). 

 

I feel lonely as a fan sometimes. Most of you love Adam in his clothes, where as I covet the clothes for myself. I imagine myself in his clothes and I want his hair dresser to color and cut my hair. 

 

I know there will probably not be any responses to this. I know I have a different way of being a fan. I don't wanna f Adam, I don't call his body parts things like "Chestbert", etc. In fact those references make me a little queazy……kinda like calling out Katie Perry's boobs or something. 

 

I fantasize not about Adam but about all of the girls hot and crazy for me like they are for Adam. I guess I don't want him, but I wouldn't mind BEING him for a bit. 

 

Just gets lonely on this side, that's all. 

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Not easy to respond, JanusJanis. It feels like a mixed message, but I hope you'll find others at some point who make it feel less lonely here, along with a closet full of clothes, minus those sandals.  :)

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Mixed how, Saffron? Can you explain? 

 

I don't mean to criticize ANYONE. 

 

Just trying to express some feelings. I am very lonely as a fan, I must say. It isn't Adam's looks and body parts I salivate over. 

 

It's his singing talent, attitude, and yes, the fact that he is gay. It DOES matter to me. He is a representation of  my tribe. He makes me proud. 

 

The objectification is difficult for me. I don't like it when women's body parts are compartmentalized and I don't like it when a man's are, either. 

 

That doesn't mean that every person can do what they want to, as they please. Really, I know that and accept it. But I often feel that the minute I express a counter opinion I am black balled and accused of being judgmental and critical. My words are just an expression of my discomfort in fan land sometimes. NOT a criticism of anybody in particular.

 

I am also a bit alienated on the other side because there are title to none lesbian friends that feel about Adam as I do. Hence, the feelings of loneliness.  

 

Does this make sense? Hope so. I have nowhere else to discuss Adam and yet I am very different from everyone else on here. What to do, what to do? Perhaps just go away again. But I am so very joyous about this new music and want to talk bout it.

 

Sincerely, JJ

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JanusJanis, I am frequently uncomfortable with the objectification of Adam and his body parts, especially when it goes OTT.  I especially HATE the photoshops where someone has stuck Adam's head on someone else's mostly-naked body.

 

I do appreciate his physical beauty, and have been known to drool over an especially sexy picture of him.  But that's not the primary draw for me either.  For me it's his 1)voice 2) showmanship and 3) charm and magnetism.  He truly has the "it" factor that I've experienced only once before (Donny Osmond, whom I met back in the early 90's--and I wasn't even a fan).

 

I swear, you can feel Adam's presence in the room before you see him.  And when he leaves, the room feels vacant. 

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JJ, talk about his new music, talk about his attitude, talk about the fact that his being gay matters to you and makes you proud. If objectification bothers you, then leave that out of the conversation. When you put that stuff in, there's an undercurrent of implied criticism in general, even if not intended to be a criticism of anyone in particular.

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I hear ya, Saffron. I guess that leaves me in the position of being continually uncomfortable while I need to keep my mouth shut because my opinion makes others uncomfortable. You might say well just don't come on here anymore if the prevailing opinion makes you feel uncomfortable. I get it. 

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I hear ya, Saffron. I guess that leaves me in the position of being continually uncomfortable while I need to keep my mouth shut because my opinion makes others uncomfortable. You might say well just don't come on here anymore if the prevailing opinion makes you feel uncomfortable. I get it. 

Just read this and wanted to agree with Foxeylady and yourself about appreciating Adam for his talent and his personality.  He is an attractive person, but to me it comes from within and many outwardly good looking people give me ugly vibes  :o  I have never been one to objectify men (or women) and it does indeed not sit well with me on many levels, one of the most important being the message it sends to young impressionables about what people think is important before they like or admire another person.  

 

But back to your dilemma ...  what I took from what Saffron said is that you can take full part in the Forum without having to support things you are uncomfortable with.   The other side of the coin is that unless it is OTT and offensive is a recognition that it is coming from a place of love, and from people who genuinely appreciate the full range of his qualities and not just the physical.   Unfortunately it is one of the ways we have been trained by the media to express ourselves - it has happened from time immemorial but with the spread of social media of recent times it has become more obvious and not just confined to private conversations between one or two friends.   ;)

 

You can maintain your integrity without actually having to comment.   In other words, comment and discuss things you like and just by-pass the rest.   Works for me :)

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@janusjanis Sometimes the statements that most need to be made are the ones that might make others uncomfortable. It is not fair to you to have to remain silent for fear of making others uncomfortable. We should all be able to handle your comments. It is not fair to YOU to have to hold back from stating your honestly held opinion.

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